Week in Review: December 3-9

I sin over and over again. Over and over again I sin. I cannot escape from my sins. Even when it seems that I have genuinely repented of my sins, I fall back into them. This was the way it was with me this week. My love for my first love felt diminished this week. Even so, "[God's] love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me." That just amazes me. Please pray that God would light the fire in me again. I hate feeling dead.

At this time, I am basically over my cold, but having it was humbling, which I guess I needed. It was frustrating to have diminished sleep due to factors unrelated to my cold when I was trying to be intentional about getting plenty of rest. It served to show me that even when I think I am, I am not in control. God is.

Thankfully, towards the end of the week, I was able to get more sleep, and I remember having a lot of dreams. I don't remember a lot of them, of course; however, I have a vague memory of one dream where someone said something along the lines of, "That's the frustrating thing. People often focus on the things that are not important. They forget the goal: 'Go and make disciples.'" I just thought that that was a good reminder for all of us.

Finally, on Tuesday night this week, my hall had a worship night with our brother hall. Some of my voice had decided to go on vacation due to my cold, but I figured that I would go and just worship in spirit. The funny thing is, I don't think I even worshiped in spirit. For much of the time, I was thinking, "Oh, I hope no one thinks poorly of me because I am not singing. I hope they don't think I love God any less than they do or that I'm some pagan." So I think my attempts to worship in spirit failed, unfortunately.

Have a good week, everyone! About five more days until I'm back in cold Michigan!

Week in Review: November 26- December 2

Hello, everyone. This past week was filled with many times when I was reminded of my sin. It seemed that in everything that I did, there was always something ugly in my heart showing up. I gave in to fleshly desires to sleep in (when I had already had enough sleep) and to eat junk food without restraint. I placed things above God-- idolatry, in one word. I was aware of jealousy in my heart as I saw certain guys whom I have crushes on enjoying the company of other girls. Finally, (and I don't think that this was even everything that I fell short in this week) I skipped church this morning in the name of, "Oh, I'm sick," instead of admitting that it was because I have homework this morning. Basically, I neglected to walk by the Spirit.The good thing in all of this is God's grace. He is so merciful and gracious to me! He has already forgiven me for how I sinned this week.

One thing I noticed about the song "Here I am to Worship" this week was the pattern of the lyrics. Before each chorus, which says, "Here I am to worship/ Here I am to bow down/ Here I am to say that You're my God/ You're altogether lovely/ Altogether worthy/ Altogether wonderful to me," it talks about Christ and His work on the cross. For instance, one verse says, "King of all days/ Oh, so highly exalted/ Glorious in heaven above/ Humbly You came/ To the earth You created/ All for love's sake became poor," and then the song continues on with the chorus. Notice that worship comes out of one's heart because of who God is and not because of one's circumstances.

This week, God answered one of my prayers in the form of a dream, which I thought was really cool. I don't think that has ever happened to me before.

I already mentioned this on facebook, but this week I realized that I am a part of a consistent friend group, and, for that, I am thankful. It has kept me out of other trouble this semester. It's not that I didn't have any friends before. It's just that I didn't know who I would ask to go to certain fun events with. Now, I have that group of friends, and I am blessed because of it.

Words I learned: vitriolic, enclaves, regnant, senescent

"Responsibility calls us to action and tests us. It reveals our character, our caliber, and our commitment."

"In the early morning hours
'Twixt the night and day,
While from earth the darkness passes
Silently away;

Then it's sweet to talk with Jesus
In your bedroom still--
For the coming day and duties
Ask to know His will.

Then He'll lead the way before you,
Laying mountains low;
Making desert places blossom,
Sweet'ning sorrow's flow

Do you want a life of triumph,
Victory all the way?
Then put God in the beginning
Of each coming day."

Weeks in Review: November 12-25

Early this week (November 12-18), I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed with everything that needed to be done. Thankfully, God reminded me through His Word that it is when everything is out of whack and when there's just so much to do, that the place that I need to be is in His presence!

I never ever thought that I would say this, but I think God is slowly but surely transforming me into a people-person. He is showing me just how much He cares about other people and how much He wants me to care for them as well. I've always tended to prefer to spend time by myself, rather than with other people. I have always felt that I needed to have something to say in order to talk with people, otherwise it might be awkward. However, God is teaching me that it's not so much as the stories or advice that I might share, but the questions that I ask that are important. Questions keep a conversation going. The thing too is that if one walks by the Spirit, then the Spirit will tell someone what to say, what questions to ask. I'm not sure if I have seen this played out in my own life yet, and I'm not even really sure if/how I would know if it did happen. I guess it's something that God will have to keep training me in. (By the way, it's not as if I didn't love people before-- I tended to love those who seemed to be left out or people who were somehow different. Now, God is showing me how to love everyone that I come into contact with.)

Overall, I had a good Thanksgiving and a good break from school. Yet, I also struggled with giving into the fleshly desires of sleeping in (beyond what I should have) and watching movies excessively and eating junk food excessively.Those things, by themselves, are not bad, but when they drown out the Spirit's voice and what He is telling me to do, then it becomes sin. Rest does not necessarily equal giving into the fleshly desires that have been controlled up until that point. Rest is much more than that, and I neglected that this week. So even though I feel rested, I did not really rest as I should have. (Hopefully that makes sense; sorry if it's confusing.)

Towards the beginning of the semester, I prayed that God might show me if I really need other humans or if I could just be fine all by myself with God. Almost immediately, God answered by giving me loneliness. This week, God continued to answer that prayer by showing me how boring it can be without other people around. If it was just me and God on this earth, then there would be no one to love, besides God that is. Yes, humans definitely need other humans. I need other people-- not only so that they can teach me and show me my wrongs, but also just so that I can keep sane.

Today, I was challenged at church when two men gave their testimonies of how after they were saved, they didn't miss a day of reading their Bibles. That really challenged me because there's the occasional day during the month when I will give in to the fleshly desire to sleep in rather than go spend time with God. Lately, I noticed that that was happening more frequently in my life-- more like once or twice a week. I've also noticed that I've just been spiritually apathetic lately. (Now, in terms of psychology, I don't know which one is the cause of the other. I've just noticed that there is a correlation.) So please pray that God might light the fire in my soul again. Along with that, pray that I might diligently do the work that God has for me these last 19 days before I go home. Thanks!

 Words I learned: armamentarium, reprobate, machinate

"It appears that the best way to get more of what you need is to give away the little you think you have left-- at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Yes, the best way to be surprisingly satisfied is to be irrationally released to respond to God's promptings to serve, even when doing so seems impossible because of your perceived lack."

"Past failure doesn't have to mean future failure."

Have a blessed week!

Weeks in Review: October 29-November 11

Sorry that I did not write last week. The time change threw me off, and so I went to bed super early. Now I'm back to a pretty regular schedule though. The second to last week was good, but this last week was difficult for me. I was reminded that I'm not in control, even though I think I am. A hard lesson to swallow.

I have been re-reading Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, and I have noticed a recurring pattern throughout the book. Whenever Christian meets someone along the road, he is always asked about his journey thus far, and others tell him of their stories as well. Why doesn't this happen in the Christian community? Why is this not the first thing that we ask people when we meet them? Why isn't it the question that we ask our friends when we see them? Why don't we ask, "What has the Lord been doing in your life since the last time we spoke together?" or "What is your story?"

The words of the Gospel should always be on our lips. Even if people we know have rejected the Truth before, it is important to keep on telling them. It may not be until the 47th time that they hear the Gospel that the Spirit has worked in their hearts enough to finally accept the Truth and repent of their sins.

One thing that I was thinking and laughing about this week was how people try to take God out of public schools. Yet, their attempt is futile. He is still actively at work in public schools. His Sovereignty has no limits.

Another thing that I thought about this week is God's deliverance. Certainly there are things that we see that He delivers us from. Then I thought about how there are probably many unseen things that God delivers us from. We may not know about these unseen things that God delivers us from, but we can still praise Him for it! An example might be God delaying us at the grocery store so that we don't get in a car wreck.

I think that Psalm 12:1 describes well the condition of the United States, "Help, Lord, for the godly are no more; the faithful have vanished from among men." This is seen especially with the re-election of a man who has disregard for God's laws concerning human life and marriage.

Words I learned this week:consanguineous, upshot, qua, anorectic, polemic, heteronomy, paean, concupiscence, gambit

Please pray for me this week as I have a lot to accomplish before Thanksgiving break. Pray that I might have diligence in the work that God has given me to do, and that I also might enjoy it.

"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." ~Psalm 27:4

Week in Review: October 22-28

Much of this week was gorgeous. There was a lot of sunshine, which I really enjoy. I like to imagine the rays of the sun as God's radiant presence, sort of based off of Numbers 6:24-26, "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." I'll spread out of my arms just to bask in the beauty even more. People who see me probably think I'm weird, but I view it as worship. In addition to the sunshine being a blessing to me this week, the signs of fall also blessed me. It's just so much fun to go on walks and see the pictures that God paints using His creation. There's something beautiful about scattered leaves on a path in the woods. Until the past two years, I've never really appreciated this type of beauty, but I'm so glad that God has shown it to me because it's one more thing that I can love Him with.

Speaking of loving God, I don't think that I will ever come to the point on this earth where I will love God as much as I should. In fact, I don't even know if I will love Him as much as I should when I get to heaven and I am in His presence forever. Even if I were able to love Him to full capacity, I still think that my love for Him would be pale in comparison to His love for me. Even with this realization, I do not think it is wasteful to try to love God as much as possible on this earth. In fact, it's a joy. I was listening to a Focus on the Family broadcast, and it mentioned the Greek word for "seek" in Matthew 6:33. It is zeteo, which means "to crave." I do not think that I "crave" God as much as I should; however, I feel like He has been putting those sort of cravings in my heart slowly but surely. At the end of my quiet times with Him, I'm just thinking to myself, "Oh man, we were just getting started." I think these cravings for more of God also come as a result of asking God to show me if I could really spend 8 hours a day (like some Christians in the past did) with Him alone. I think He's answering that question with a "yes," and it makes sense, for one day, I will forever be in His presence. (Not that God isn't already present on the earth, but I feel that God reveals Himself in a special way during quiet times.)

This week, I have really struggled with how impatient of a person I am. I dislike not seeing results. Even as I am being ministered to here at JBU, I like to look at my time here as one of ministry as well. I enjoy listening to people talk about the challenges, trials, and decisions that they are going through. It makes me feel like I am needed and that I am important (I know that probably sounds wrong since people in ministry really aren't supposed to think that way, but I think it's probably a natural human tendency.) Yet, this week, it seemed as if no one needed a listening ear. I felt like I wasn't really doing anything for God. Then God basically challenged me to be faithful in prayer for the people and situations that I do know about.

I enjoyed this quote this week, also from the Focus on the Family broadcast that I listened to: "God gave us food so that we could consume it, but it was never meant to consume us."

"Delays of answers are not denials."

Words I learned this week: braggadocio, masticate, Brogdingnagian, imprecate, salient, cogitation

Have a blessed week! Take the time to seek the Lord, because He is definitely worth it!

Weeks in Review: October 8-21

First of all, sorry that I did not write last week. My mom came down from Michigan to visit me because I had fall break. She arrived Friday afternoon, and we just sort of relaxed. On Saturday, we spent the day at Eureka Springs, visiting little shops. It was quite a pretty drive there and back because a lot of the leaves had already changed colors. The windy mountain roads also added to the atmosphere. Saturday night we went to go see the Great Passion Play, which is outside. At first, it wasn't quite as enjoyable as it possibly could have been, because it was pouring rain, but we had rain ponchos on, so it wasn't too horrible. Fortunately, the rain let up, and the play was more enjoyable. On Sunday, we drove back to Siloam Springs. (There are a lot of "Springs" places in Arkansas: Hot Springs, Sulfur Springs, etc.) When we got back, we played tennis, took a walk down town, and just relaxed. Then, on Monday, we basically did the same thing that we did on Sunday. Then, my mom had to go home.

One of the things that God really spoke to me about the past two weeks was about what I tend to find my identity in. For as long as I can remember, I have always found my identity in academics. There were times when I would cry if I got a 98% on a test. Fortunately, over the years, God has worked a lot in that area of my life, transforming me and teaching me to find my identity in Him. Yet, I still see remnants of seeking identity in academics. This is evidenced in how I often favored (and still do sometimes favor) spending time studying instead of spending time with my family and others. Certainly, being concerned about academics is not bad, but it must have its proper place. At times, it has often been an idol in my life. This semester, I really feel that God is teaching me to spend more time with others, loving on them. It has always been something that my family has been good at (especially my dad) since they're outgoing, but I am more quiet, so it takes more work and effort to love others. (Not that love really takes a lot of effort because it can be expressed in simple ways, but it takes effort to be in the presence of others, so that I can love them.) I still do not love as I ought to love. Not only do I not love others as I ought to love them, I also do not love God as I ought to love Him. Fortunately, God still loves me, and He is still transforming me so that I can love Him and others better.

Words/phrases I learned: warp and woof, perspicuity

"The future is bright, because of God's faithfulness."

"No one accomplishes so much in so little time as when he or she is praying."

"Nothing lies beyond the reach of prayer except those things outside the will of God."

"The opposite of love is indifference."

"The peace of God is an eternal calm like the cushion of the sea. It lies so deeply within the human heart that no external difficulty or disturbance can reach it."

Have a blessed week!

Week in Review: October 1-7

Wow! What a week it has been! I feel that God has been speaking to me about a lot of things lately, and it has been cool to see how He has been at work answering some of my prayers. For my Christian Leadership and Service class, we had to start using a journal to record simple prayers, which is just the pouring out of our hearts to God. I feel that this has been a good tool for me, and it is something that I will continue. In fact, much of what I am going to write in this blog from now on is going to come from it.

On Monday of this week, I went and spoke with a professor about what I might be able to do with a Biblical and Theological Studies major. This conversation was very helpful to me in that I was reminded that I am called...not to a career, but to God. (In fact, this is very much what I have been learning in my Christian Leadership and Service class.) The professor also gave me a paper to read dealing with the topic of calling. It challenged me to ask the question, "How can I best serve with the gifts and abilities that God has given me?" instead of asking the question, "What do I want to do?" Before, I had never really left God out of my decision-making in terms of career, but I guess that the article was helpful in putting words to the matter.

Another area that I feel God spoke to me about this week was marriage. A few weeks ago, it was sexuality week here at JBU. After listening to one of the people talk about celibacy, I wondered in my heart if marriage was in God's plan for me, or if He might have me remain single for the rest of my life. Well, on Thursday of this week, I had to take my car to Rogers to see what was wrong with it. Well, I don't like having to deal with these kind of issues. I'm always afraid that I'm going to get cheated or something like that. Also, I was thinking that perhaps I might enter into a career that might lead me to dangerous places. It was through these thoughts that God introduced to me the idea of seeking a husband who will protect me. Before, I had never considered looking for that in a man. I had just been looking for one who loves God. Now, however, I am looking for a man who loves God and also wants to protect his wife and family. Ultimately, though, I do realize that the Lord is my great Provider and Protector, and He will be even after I am married! It was through all of the above thoughts that God laid marriage on my heart. Yet, at the same time, God also revealed to me that he created me with an independent spirit of sorts, so even if a man does not come for a long time, I can still go through singleness and be all set with just God by my side.

Anyways, back to the story about my car...I like to be in control and know what is happening when exactly it is happening where exactly it is happening...you get the picture. So, when things go wrong with cars, particularly my car, it is not a pretty picture. For the most part, I like to think of myself as a quite flexible person, but that does not mean I don't worry about things. The diagnosis at the Volkswagen dealership was not good. Then, I had to park in freshman parking because I got back around chapel time, and the Mayfield parking lot (where I normally put my vehicle) was full. It was as I was trekking up the big hill that I prayed, "You know, God, I could really use some encouragement right now." I then decided to go to lunch 18 minutes earlier than normal that day. I sat down with some friends at a table. I noticed one of my friends named Lizzie sit down at a table where some other guy was sitting. Lizzie soon came to join us though after the guy left. I was telling her some of what was going on with my car and how I was still trying to decide what to major in. It was just me and her at the table when she asked me, "How can I pray for you today?" I told her that she could pray that I might have peace about the car situation and that God would show me clearly what to do as a career. She grabbed my hand, and she prayed right then and there! As I walked back to Mayfield, it hit me that God had answered my prayer for encouragement through Lizzie. How amazing! I love looking back to see how He orchestrated the event!

God just overwhelms me, in good way!

Words I learned this week: debacle, opprobrium, blockhead, verve

"One way or the other, we must all learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver.

Well, I certainly hope that your week has been as good as mine. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this week! :)

Week in Review: September 24-30

Last week, in my last blog, I forgot to mention another reason why I feel led to major in Biblical and Theological Studies, in addition to the fact that God is infinite, so I can forever learn more about Him. I have a love for learning. However, whenever it comes time to review what I have learned for tests and quizzes, the task is not very enjoyable. I guess that means I like gathering new information, but not re-reading it. Yet, when it comes to anything having to do with the Bible, I enjoy reviewing the material. Also, in a way, the material can be new to me every time, even if I have read a passage of Scripture over and over again. This is because "the word of God is living and active" (Hebrews 4:12).

Last Sunday, I went on a walk on the trail that circles campus, and I talked to God as I walked. As I was talking with Him, suddenly God told me, "You know, Leah, your dad really knows how to love people. Just think of everything he does for people. You need to work on loving people as much as you love me." I just thought that it was really cool that God spoke to me like that. In fact, God amazes me whenever He speaks to me. I'll be praying out loud about an issue, and then all of a sudden, it will hit me. If you have ever experienced this, then you know what I mean.

Words I learned this week: contiguous, pro bono, shoehorn, redlining, faux pas, flaccid, aliquot, natter, histrionic, desultory, interdigitate  

"Give me one pure and holy passion, and give me one magnificent obsession. Give me one glorious ambition for my life: To know and follow hard after You."

"This world is empty, pale and poor, compared to knowing You, my Lord. Lead me on and I will run after You. Lead me on and I will run after You."

Please pray for me this week-- that God will work in my life and continue to transform me more into His image. I feel that He is at work in me, and I trust that one day it will be brought to completion (Philippians 1:6).

Also, feel free to share with me how God is working in your own life. You can share with me both the ups and the downs, because this life is definitely full of both.

Week in Review: September 17-23

Hello all,

This weekend I went on a retreat, called Breakaway, at New Life Ranch, a Christian camp located in Colcord, Oklahoma. It was a total blast! The theme of the weekend was wrestling with God and what that looks like. The lives of Jacob and Joseph were examined. I learned that wrestling with God is healthy. It's good to deal with questions that we may have concerning distressing situations, but it seems like we always ask why: Why, Lord? Why is this happening? Instead, we ought to ask the question, "Who are you, God?" He answers. All throughout Scripture, there are descriptions of who God is. Psalm 68:5 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Another common description of who God is is found in Psalm 103:8-13: "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him." And there are a whole lot more that I encourage you to discover and reflect on.

I feel like I may have finally decided on what I am going to major in, although I've changed so many times before, so I wonder if this is really what I'm going to do. Nevertheless, I have peace about the decision. I had always known that I was going to major in Biblical and Theological Studies. Over the summer, as I was trying to fall asleep one night, I was thinking about majors and careers and the different talents and abilities that God has given me. One of the things that I love to do is learn. God reminded me of how He is infinite, so I could spend the rest of my life trying to learn about Him, and I would still not know everything there is to know about Him. Well, there are also other fields that seem to have a great deal of information, like science. Yet, I thought to myself, I don't really want to go into a field where things are constantly changing. I heard a voice, not audible, but a voice, nonetheless, that said, "I the Lord do not change" (Malachi 3:6). So I knew for sure that I would major in Biblical and Theological Studies, but I also figured that I would not go into that as a career, so I continued my search for a second major. A lot of options passed through my mind: Biology, Exercise Studies, Family and Human Services, Child and Family Studies, Youth Ministries, Intercultural Studies. Too many options to choose from! Let me just say that it is amazing what God may do and whom He may use to speak to us about certain things. Last Sunday, I had a conversation with a good friend about the topic of what I was going to major in. For what seemed like the millionth time, I had to answer, "I don't know." At the end of the conversation though, I had walked away with this basic thought: There are things that I can do with a Biblical and Theological Studies major, but the standard of living may be less. Then, on Thursday, I was eating lunch with a group of people, and the subject of majors came up, and one of my friends remarked, "Just do Bible." That conversation again got me thinking about my future. By the next morning, I had come to the decision that I would major in Biblical and Theological Studies only and that I would take other classes that match my other interests depending on what fits into my schedule. I am at peace with the situation, but, like I said before, I am not 100% certain because it has already changed like 10 times. I still don't know what I will do with such a major, but I'm sure that God will show me in due time.

Have a blessed week!

Week in Review: September 10-16

Hello all!

On Monday night, I had a breakdown. I know what caused it, but I do not know exactly the events that led up to it or even what I was upset about. God had been telling me that He wanted me to change the way that I approached homework. I had been preparing two hours for every hour that was spent in class, which is the recommended amount. Yet, God was telling me that He wanted me to do homework on just a completion basis. Well, once I'm set in my ways, I'm set in my ways. I don't think I'm stubborn in a lot of things, but the things that I am stubborn about, I am extremely stubborn about. Even so, God did get ahold of me through the meltdown, and I finally conceded. I am learning that this completion approach to homework allows me more time to form friendships with other people as I am walking along the quad or in Mayfield. It allows me the flexibility to stop and pay attention to the needs of someone other than myself. Finally, it allows God to form and shape me in other areas of life, which are just as important, if not more.

On Wednesday, as I was walking back to my dorm after lunch, I passed by a portion of the quad that had leaves scattered across it, and it was just beautiful. It was so amazing that I had to just stand there for a minute and admire God's creation.

Another thing that I thought was cool this week was what happened on Thursday morning. Sometimes God will tell me to sing a certain song to Him as I'm walking from place to place around campus. The song that He gave me to sing as I was walking back to Mayfield after eating breakfast happened to be one of the songs that we sang in chapel later that morning. I love it when things like that happen!

Words I learned this week: arcane, soporific, prandial, panoply, jaded

Blessings!

Leah

Week in Review: September 3-9

Hello everyone! Even though it was a four-day week in terms of classes, it still felt extremely long. I found myself saying, "Is it the weekend yet?" Finally, Saturday arrived-- the day of the Honors mentor/freshmen retreat. We went to Camp Siloam. It was a fun time with food, finger-painting, water games, small-group discussions, and rest! The topic that was explored was peace. More specifically, we examined peace in the context of silence and surrender before God. It was great to get to know a lot of the freshmen, and it was, overall, a fun time. This week, I realized a connection between the process of learning and sanctification. When someone learns something new, pretty soon other information is added on to that, and it seems to build. Often times, previous knowledge may be out-dated or perhaps people just "watered-down" the actual facts in order to explain something in a simpler way. Thus, some knowledge is removed, and some may be added in. Overall, it seems that learning is very much a process of refinement, much like sanctification is. As God molds us more into His image, certain habits and acts of the sinful nature are taken out. Simultaneously, God is also at work incorporating the fruit of the Spirit into our lives. Words I learned this week: quotidian, protean Have a blessed week! Leah

Back to school!

Hello all! I'm back at John Brown! I absolutely love being back, and I feel like this has become my home! On Sunday, August 19, my dad and I left Howell, MI at 4:00 a.m. We got to our hotel near Siloam Springs at about 5 p.m (6 p.m. Michigan time). It was a really long drive, but it was uneventful, which is good. Nothing horrible happened while we were on the road. Praise God for that! On Monday, August 20, we moved all of my stuff into my dorm room. I am in the same residence, Mayfield, as well as the same hall as last year, Up New, as well as in the same room, #76. Woot! Woot! There are a lot of new people on my hall, so it will be fun to get to know them this semester. On Tuesday, August 21, my dad and I drove around in Bentonville for a bit before taking him to the airport (XNA) to fly back home. After that, I drove back to JBU and finished unpacking a lot of my stuff. Classes started on Wednesday, August 22. Here is what my schedule looks like this semester: Monday/Wednesday: 9:00-9:50 General Chemistry I 10:00-10:50 Cell Biology 11:00-11:50 Introduction to Family Science 2:30-3:45 Christian Leadership and Service Tuesday: 8:30-10:20 Cell Biology: Lab 10:30-11:15 Chapel 12:50-2:40 General Chemistry I: Lab Thursday: 10:30-11:15 Chapel Friday: 9:00-9:50 General Chemistry I 10:00-10:50 Cell Biology I 11:00-11:50 Introduction to Family Science In addition to classes, I also have work-study at the Boys and Girls Club in the afternoons about three days a week. I am also being an Honors mentor. The activities for this have not started yet, but they will soon, and I'm so excited! I feel like I have already learned a lot in the first 1.5 weeks of classes. I can't wait to see what God has in store for the rest of the semester! Have a great week! I know that many of my Michigan friends are starting up school on Tuesday, so God blessing's to you in your academic studies! Always remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing (other than, "My parents are making me").

Women: Be Ye the Pursued, Not the Pursuer

If there is one lesson that I have learned (and I have learned a lot, such as that hair dryers are not clothes dryers), it is that women are supposed to be pursued when it comes to "love" relationships between males and females. (I'm not sure if that is the best terminology to use, so if you can think of something better, then please suggest something.) As is the case with many lessons in life, experience always seems to be a good teacher. I can recount four instances (perhaps there is more that I cannot remember) where I have the been the pursuer, rather than the pursued. Two instances were with males older than me; the other two were with men younger than me. No matter the case, there has always been a bit of hurt afterwards. Fortunately for me though, each male that I have pursued has gently told me that he does not reciprocate my interest (more like infatuation) in him. The Lord has been gracious to me in that way. He has been so gracious! It overwhelms me to think about. For the longest time, I had always known that the woman was supposed to be pursued by the man, but I never knew why; I always just thought that it was just some sort of societal rule. However, after the third instance, I learned that the rule has its roots in the Bible. Ephesians 5:23 says that the husband is "the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." I guess that I had known that verse before, but I had never realized its implications in terms of dating. A wise person told me that the man had to take leadership early on in the relationship, or he might have difficulty taking on headship later. I found that this made sense. Even so, yet again I became the pursuer, and that did not end well (for me, at least). You see, it never does end well when the woman is the pursuer. Rather, she is to be the pursued. I'd like to just add a few other related tips that I have learned over the years: 1. Don't say it online if you wouldn't say it in person. 2. Don't use male friends as confidants. It creates a false sense of intimacy because, as women, we feel close when we connect emotionally. Males are completely different (in general), and they feel close based on physical touch. Be discreet about what you share. Always be asking yourself, "Is it really necessary for me to be telling this to him? Is there someone better with whom I could share it?" If you must tell someone, first of all, be sure that you've told God already, and then tell a trusted female friend. 3. Watch your curiosity. With every crush that you have, there comes a myriad of questions, "Does he like me? Does he like me as a friend, or might he have feelings for me that surpass friendship?" It is natural for you to want to learn everything you can about him, but, many times, it is better to let information come out naturally, rather than you stalking his facebook page, and then freaking him out with how much you know about him. Always ask yourself, "Do I really need to know about this right now?" Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, the answer is "no." I hope that this information will be helpful to young women and that they will be pursued when it comes to relationships, rather than the pursuer, just as I am currently patiently waiting to be pursued, just as my heavenly Father pursues me with love. If you have any other tips when it comes to relationships, feel free to share!

JBU: Head, Heart, Hand

    In the fall of 2012, I will be a sophomore at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. Currently, I am undecided about what I am going to major in. There are so many different career options and things that I am passionate about. It also does not help that I am an innately indecisive person. I can picture myself working in the foster care system. I can see myself being a doctor or a missionary or perhaps a combination of both (which would enable me to possibly use my steadily-progressing Spanish capabilities). I also imagine myself teaching the Bible at a Christian university. Fortunately, I have about a year left before I actually need to choose a major.
    Even though I do not yet know what career path I will pursue, I can still rest-assured that I will have an awesome, holistic education because of John Brown University’s catchy motto: “head, heart, hand.” “Head” refers to the mind, or the ability to think. “Heart” refers to a person’s inner being or soul, and “hand” delineates the physical body. Thus, John Brown University’s goal, unlike other colleges which often focus more on the “head” aspect of a person, is to develop the whole person. This is done through challenging academic classes (head), chapels that draw people near to God (heart), and opportunities to serve in ministries, internships, and work-study positions (hand).
    Thus, even though I do not know specifically right now whether I will be a doctor, missionary, teacher, or foster care worker, I trust that I will be thoroughly equipped in whatever field that God calls me to in the end. Even though I do not know whether I will work with mentally and physically disabled people or teach college students the Word of God, I do have no doubts that John Brown University will provide me with an education that will give me an edge over the people who have only developed in terms of their head. I will be more than that. I will have developed holistically according to John Brown University’s motto of “head, heart, and hand.” This scholarship is sponsored by CenturyLinkQuote.com.

Week in Review: April 23-29

Hello all! I should be back in Michigan soon! I'm excited to see everyone!

I find it sort of ironic that at Sunday school last week, one of John Piper's practical tips for the fight for joy in God was to take care of biological needs-- sleep, diet, and exercise. For on Monday this week, I went to bed at 8:30 p.m., then I got up at 12:30 a.m. on Tuesday in order to finish a paper for science. Before that, I just had the biggest problem deciding whether I would take care of my body and get a proper amount of rest or just trust that God might give me lots of grace, so that I might not misrepresent Him in any way more than I already do, due to my lack of sleep. As it turns out, He did give me lots of grace, and He sustained me until 8 p.m., when I went to bed.

One thing that stuck out to me from one of my devotionals on Monday morning was that one cannot really know what God's will is, if one does not regularly spend time with Him. The devotional is written as if God is speaking directly to you, and it says, "In order to know My will, you must spend time with Me-- enjoying my presence. This is not an onerous task but a delightful privilege." This makes much sense. If one does not quiet himself and separate himself from the world's distractions, then how can he listen to God's voice? If one does not know God and His Word, then how can he know God's will?

Another thing that is awesome to think and reflect on is the fact that Jesus is the "perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2). Thus, it is not up to us to sanctify ourselves. Rather, it is up to God. He will shape us and mold us into the people whom He wants us to be. We just have to be willing to let Him do His work! I just love the images of the potter and the clay and the metal being refined by fire.

On Wednesday this week, I had a rough draft due in my English class. I should have planned my time more wisely, but I did not. It was evident that I would not be able to get it done on time. I was thinking to myself, "Oh, man, I really want to get the full amount of peer review points." Yet, I felt God saying to me, "Don't you dare spend time working on your paper instead of spending time with me." So I spent time with my heavenly Father instead, and let me tell you, it was the best decision ever! I felt incredibly blessed, experiencing such great intimacy with my Father. I also felt peace about the rest of the day when, before, I had been really stressed out. There are so many times when I do not want my quiet time with the Lord to end. I bet I could spend all day in His glorious presence! (Oh wait, I will-- one day. And that one day will actually be all of eternity! What a great thought to rejoice in!)

Blessings this week: classical music (particularly "Variations on the Kanon by Pachelbel"), chewy peanut butter cookies, the sun (warmth) on my face and arms, the right amount of wind blowing, thunder.

Words I learned this week: monolith, hydrophobia, coda.

Quotes: (all taken from The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer)

"The truth is that while God dwells in His world He is separated from it by a gulf forever impassible. However closely He may be identified with the work of His hands they are and must eternally be other than He, and He is and must be antecedent to and independent of them. He is transcendent above all His works even while He is immanent within them."

"In the beginning God, the uncaused Cause of matter, mind and law."

"Jacob had never been for one small division of a moment outside the circle of that all-pervading Presence. But he knew it not. That was his trouble, and it is ours. Men do not know that God is here. What a difference it would make if they knew."

Week in Review April 16-22

Hello all,

Just one more week of classes, and then four days of exams. I think that if I can just get through this week, then I will be fine, and exams should be a cinch! I am so excited to come home and to see everyone! 

On Monday of this week, as I was walking back to Mayfield after lunch, I began to notice how everyone's arms move when they walk. It's not a movement that they do voluntarily, but involuntarily. It just comes naturally. Another thing that I noticed was that whatever leg goes forward the opposite arm goes forward as well. I was just so mesmerized and amazed at this metronome-like motion. Our Creator is amazing!

I am in the process of writing a paper about suffering, so here is some of what I have written so far. Let me know what you think!

There is always one question in particular that comes up when people talk about why one’s mother is dying of cancer, even though she goes to church every Sunday and has been a “good” person all of her life. It is the same question that people ask when one’s daughter dies way before her proper time—because a drunk driver ran a red light. It is the question that Elie Wiesel dealt with while he was in concentration camps during the Holocaust. The age-old, difficult, mind-boggling question is: How are people supposed to reconcile a kind, loving, and just God with the suffering that is seen in the world? I myself have wrestled with this question time and time again. I have come up with different ways to answer the question, but, ultimately, I do not believe humans can ever know the full answer.

First of all, what is a Christian view of suffering? What does the Bible have to say about it? When God created the world and everything in it, nothing was wrong with it at first. It was perfect. After God created something, “[He] saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:9). If Adam and Eve had never sinned, then there would be no suffering in the world today. However, Adam and Eve disobeyed God and chose to eat the fruit from the tree that God commanded them not to eat from. Because of this, everything in creation fell. Beginning with Adam and Eve, humans began to have a sinful nature. Every human that has been born since then has had one. Future humans who are born will have one. When sin came into the world, so did suffering.

Fortunately, there is a third part to human history, known as redemption. This is when God sent His only son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for the sins of the world (people in the past, present, and future) because He wanted to have a deep, intimate relationship with them. When Jesus did this, He opened the way for people to know Him and to be filled with the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity. Thus, people who want to have a relationship with Christ are filled with the Holy Spirit, but they also have the sinful nature that they had ever since they were conceived. These two natures are at “war” with each other. Paul describes quite well this battle within him:

I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members (Romans 7:21-23).

Thus, even if someone has the Holy Spirit inside of them, that person can still do evil acts. That is why someone can read his Bible one minute and then lash out at his little sister in anger the next. It is also why some people choose to fill themselves with alcohol, which causes them to have a slower reaction time to stimuli, like red traffic lights.

The rest of creation—our physical bodies and the physical world—is still under the curse of sin as well. This is why humans contract illnesses. It is also why tornadoes, hurricanes, and other weather elements often destroy human life. Thus, the only thing that was restored when Christ died on the cross was mankind’s relationship with Him. Everything else has to wait to be made whole until God makes a new heaven and a new earth.

It is simple to explain the origin of suffering—it all comes down to the fact that sin entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. However, still humans ask the question, “Why?” Why did my child have to be born with spina bifida? Why did my infant die in his crib? Why do I have terminal cancer? The intellectual answer does not satisfy these questions. Instead, people want to know how a loving, kind God could “let suffering happen.” Some answer this question by declaring that all suffering comes from the devil, over whom God has no control. However, this denies the Sovereignty of God. God is Sovereign over everything that happens. He is omniscient, omnipresent, and all-powerful. If He was anything less, then He would not be God. Luke 1:37 says, “For nothing is impossible with God.” Rather, a more probably explanation of how God’s Sovereignty and suffering go together is this: God allows suffering to happen. The key word is allows. Often times, it is the devil that wants to afflict people. This is seen in the case of Job. The satan came to God one day and said,

Does Job fear God for nothing? Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face (Job 1:9-11).

God then allowed the satan to do what he wanted to do, for it says, “The Lord said to Satan, ‘Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.’ (Job 1:12).

Since humans are made in God’s image, they have an idea of what is right and what is wrong. When they see a good woman suffering from the abuse of an alcoholic husband, they sympathize with her and have a twinge of the “this isn’t right” feeling. This is the justice of God being manifested in them. However, these people get angry and upset at the wrong thing. Instead, of getting upset at God over the suffering that is happening, they should feel sorrowful for the sin that was committed. The woman may not have done anything blatantly “wrong,” but her abusive husband has. He has chosen to please the desires of his sinful nature by over-indulging himself in alcohol instead of pleasing of God.

Yet, some may bring up the issue of natural disasters. When natural disasters happen, is it because all of the people in the town are horribly sinful? I think not. Rather, natural disasters serve to remind people of the first sin that Adam and Eve committed. It causes people to reflect on the frail state of humanity and realize their own need for God. This can be said not only of suffering caused by natural disasters, but also of any other type of suffering.

An important point must now be addressed: Some people think that God punishes people for their sin. It is quite understandable why they believe this, for Hebrews 12:5-6 says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” However, I do not believe that this verse intends to teach us that God is a punishing God. He is not sitting in heaven on His throne waiting for us to sin so that He can wag His finger at us and say, “Now, now, you know you aren’t supposed to do that. That will be five years of cancer for you.” Instead, the verse talks about holiness, rather than specific sins, for it is holiness that God is concerned with. It talks more about the process of being transformed into God’s image, rather than being disciplined for any specific sin. In a person’s heart, there may be selfishness present, which causes someone to steal what belongs to others and to speak harsh words to his mother. God is not worried about punishing the person for stealing, and He is not worried about punishing him for speaking harsh words to his mother. These are just manifestations of what is in his heart, which is what God actually cares about. Thus, bit by bit, God soon works in the man’s life to weed out of his heart the selfishness that he has. In other words, God does not punish; rather, He sanctifies.

Even with all of this head knowledge about suffering, it is still quite difficult to understand it from the heart, especially while one is facing it. However, one can be assured that God has a perfect plan and that He does everything for His glory, including the allowance of suffering. Just consider the cross: Jesus endured great suffering and death, and, as a result, God has been glorified by it. Many people now confess Jesus as Lord and Savior. Isaiah 48:11 says, “For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.” It may be difficult to understand, but God is somehow glorified through suffering.

Have a blessed week!
P.S. Please pray that I will find a job for this summer.

 

Week in Review April 9-15

Well, everyone, it looks like I will be coming home for the summer! I am excited and cannot wait to see everyone. I have two more weeks of classes, then four days of exams. I certainly have a lot to accomplish before this semester ends, so please pray that God would grant me (and every other college student) strength to finish strong.

Lately, I feel that God has been strongly speaking to me about using every bit of energy (which is usually a lot!) and time (which I am still learning to manage) that I have to pursue Him. He is showing me that I am His daughter and that He loves and cares for me so much. This pursuit of God, of course, is life-changing. (Though it is life-changing in the long run, what I want to focus on is the changes in life in the short term.) It means that I change what music I listen to. Certainly listening to songs such as "The Circle of Life" from the Lion King or "The Eye of the Tiger" are not sinful; however, they do nothing to direct my thoughts to God-- they do not help me in my pursuit of God. Now, this may sound sort of legalistic, but it really is not. I am not making a list of do this or do not do that. In fact, I have a lot of freedom in Christ. I am simply choosing to use the freedom that God gave me to proactively pursue Him. Another change that is made is how I view the time that is spent working on homework or writing papers or studying for tests and quizzes. Instead of viewing it as drudgery, I view it as an opportunity for God to teach me more about Himself or His creation or to just develop in me skills and qualities that I may need in the future. Now, I have absolutely no clue beforehand how God can do this most of the time, but He does. I am also trusting God that He will use every task that He gives me to do for His glory-- I may not see the importance of studying the minute details of mosses, liverworts, hornworts, Hannahworts, and Leahworts right now, but I trust that God will use my knowledge of it one day in the future.

Words I learned this week: homily, pince-nez, acolytes, quay, vaudevilles, promontory, cortege, assize.

Some quotes from A.W. Tozer's book The Pursuit of God:

"He is immutable, which means that He has never changed and can never change in any smallest measure. To change He would need to go from better to worse or from worse to better. He cannot do either, for being perfect He cannot become more perfect, and if He were to become less perfect He would be less than God."

"All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to an end of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all He has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more."





Have a great week, y'all!

Guatemala!

Hello all! I am glad to say that God brought me and everyone else back safe and sound from Guatemala. I just wanted to share with you all everything that happened on the trip. Most of the group left really early (3 a.m.!) the morning of Friday, March 16. I, however, was in the group that left on Saturday—at a much more decent hour, at 12:30 in the afternoon. We had smooth travel, and we arrived in Guatemala late that night (about 9), so we were shown our sleeping accommodations—mats made out of bamboo spread out around a campfire. Just kidding. It was actually quite comfortable beds at a place called SETECA, which is a seminary type of school.

            At breakfast the next day (Sunday), I was introduced to the chocolaty spread and rich goodness of Nutella. This sustained me physically throughout the rest of the week. After breakfast, everyone hopped into the vans and 38 some people set out for church. First, we went up to the top floor of the church to help feed some hungry kids breakfast. At first, it was a bit difficult for me to jump in and interact with the kids because of the different language, but soon I was able to relax with the thought of, “Okay, these are just kids. I can do this.”

            After that, there was Sunday school and church. One of the songs that was sung was “Yo Tengo un Amigo que Me Ama (I Have a Friend who Loves Me),” which I sort of knew from a VBS that I had gone to when I was a little kid. There were people who translated the message into English, but since I am a predominantly visual/kinesthetic learner, it was very difficult for me to pay attention to what was actually being said.

            After church, our big group went to a restaurant called Piccadilly’s. As was the case with dinner each subsequent night, it took what seemed to be a long time for all of the drinks and food to finally arrive. I had to be patient and remember that there were a lot of people in our group, so things were going to be much slower than if I had just gone out to eat with my family. At first, it felt weird having Chinese, seafood, and Mexican food for dinner each night (since it did not feel right on a mission trip), but I learned to enjoy each meal as a time of fellowship and getting to know the people with whom I was serving. (In case anyone thinks we may have been extravagant in our eating habits, our most expensive meal came out to a little bit over $10 a head.) 

          Each day, we rolled out at about 8:15. We had a variety of different ministries: construction, evangelization, VBS programs for kids, English classes, and a medical clinic. For three days, I was part of the medical clinic. I was in the pharmacy part, so it was sort of like running a concession stand, except I was passing out drugs and not food, and the people did not have to pay for them. There were four “doctors” who would highlight the different medicines needed on a sheet of paper. My job was to find the drugs on the shelf. Then, another person would explain in Spanish the dosage of the drug. 

 

Monday evening, there was a church service for the “Los Peregrinos,” or homeless people. It was mostly men, but some women and children came as well. First of all, there was singing and a devotional that one of our group members, Chuck, gave. After that, our group worked together to pass out food to the people. There was bouncing music being played, so the atmosphere was one of love, joy, and peace. 

Wednesday was the team’s free day. Unfortunately, it was also the day that my stomach was acting up. I also had a headache, sore throat, and cough. However, I still felt well enough to go along. We went to Soila and Sylvia’s home (these ladies cooked lunch for all of us each day) in San Antonio. They had many goodies set out for the team to look at and to purchase. After everyone had had a chance to buy souvenirs, we were given a presentation about the culture in Guatemala. Weddings, in particular, were talked about, and part of the group was able to participate in one. The grinding of coffee and weaving was also demonstrated. After the team was done at San Antonio, we went to Antigua, a popular tourist attraction with markets.

On Thursday, people from a beauty school came in to give the locals free haircuts at the church. On Thursday evening, the team went to Mama Carmen’s house, which is sort of like an orphanage. Mama Carmen takes in the kids that are not wanted by anyone else. Many of them have some sort of physical ailment. One thing that was probably a big take-away for me from the trip was when all of us were eating pizza together. I just got this overwhelming feeling that what we were doing—having people from two different countries and languages eat together—was genuine love and fellowship and that we were all God’s people. In response to this realization, I began to hum softly the song “How Great Thou Art.” That was truly an amazing experience for me. The picture below with me and the kid is my favorite one from the trip.

 



 

            On Friday, I was part of the kids/evangelization team. Since there was so much construction work to do that day, we had been planning on doing the kids ministry near where they were working. However, since many of the kids in that area were in school, the kids/evangelization team ended up working on a project called the Accion de Amor with the construction team. Whenever there’s a mission trip that involves construction, there will always be buckets and assembly lines. We had to move buckets with concrete up to the roof of a building in order to make a floor. In the morning and afternoon, home visits also took place, so I went on both of those. We would give each family a bag of food and ask them if they would like to share a personal testimony or if they had anything for which they would like us to pray. Many of the stories were sad but also encouraging. Abuse of women by their husbands seemed to be a prevalent theme, unfortunately. Friday night, there was a food distribution at the dump. Obviously, not all us could actually pass out the food, so most of us helped with keeping kids occupied while they were waiting in line.

 

 Saturday was known as the “Lord, what were we thinking day?” On that day, there was a big event mainly for children. Over 800 people attended! There were bounce houses, a swimming pool, wordless book bracelets, coloring pages, balloon animals, face painting, and more! In order to feed all the people lunch, our group formed yet another assembly line and passed along plates of food. It took what seemed a long time (maybe 40 minutes), but praise God that there was enough food for everyone! The final event was breaking piñatas—50 of them, and they were the biggest piñatas that I have ever seen! The kids (and even the adults) definitely had a blast!

On Sunday morning, we had an early morning flight. As we left, the question that Dr. Walenciak had posed to us lingered in my mind: “What now?” I had already been to Costa Rica and Jamaica on mission trips, so I had seen poverty before. However, I still left feeling more thankful for hot showers and cafeteria food, since a lot of people do not have those things. If anything, though, I feel that God really told me, “Just trust me with your future,” because so many different questions have been running through my mind lately. Where will I serve this summer? What should I major in? Who should I marry? Or should I marry at all.
            Overall, the trip was excellent, and I really do believe that God did some great things through us. I am sure that many seeds were planted, and some seeds were probably watered. Some probably even grew. None of this could have been accomplished without you—my prayer and financial support team. Thank you, so much. All glory to God!