I'm a junior this year at John Brown, yet today I felt like a freshman. (Now, in this post, I am not trying to paint a stereotypical picture of college freshmen. I'm just remembering what I was like as a freshman and basing this post off of those recollections.) As a freshman for me, there was a lot of emotions--exhilaration that classes were beginning, excitement for the awesome* cafeteria food, but also loneliness, homesickness, and confusion. Today has been one of those mixed-emotions days for me, mostly because I realized (again, as I did in my sophomore year) that things are never the same as they were before when everyone said their bittersweet goodbyes in May. You see, when you come back in the fall, there's different people on your hall. You might even have a different roommate (or, in my case, a roommate after having none for the past three semesters). The cafeteria might have a different look to it. I don't really know--I think they added some grills? None of this stuff is bad, in and of itself. New hall mates and new roommates certainly aren't bad. It's just...different. Which, again, isn't bad, in and of itself. I just know that I probably appeared to be a freshman in the cafeteria tonight, walking around with a lost look on my face.
Now, so what if I felt like a freshman today? What's the big deal, eh? Well, it's probably not a big deal for someone who is an unbeliever, but for someone who has the Spirit of God in her--and that Spirit of God uses circumstances to speak to her invaluable lessons and truths, it is a big deal.
Here's what I learned/was reminded of today:
There is nothing constant in life whatsoever, besides God. Malachi 3:6 says, "I the LORD do not change." Hebrews 13:8 reads, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Circumstances may change, people may change, but God will never change. You and I can rest in that. It was good to be reminded of that today--we need that reminder a lot, because, sooner or later, circumstances will change. You'll lose all your wealth in a bad investment. Though you go to the same school, the people you go there with will change. Your brother might die in a car accident. Then what? Who or what will you turn to? Hopefully the same One who's been there all along and through it all--God. "I the LORD do not change."
Change also reminds us that we are not in control, and it causes us to examine our hearts to see if they are fully set on the LORD or not. It causes us to evaluate where our trust is put. In ourselves, our own resources, or in God and His great power and strength?
Change will always be a part of life. It's inevitable. You might as well get used to it now. I'd like to challenge you with this question: Who/what is your anchor? Who/what is your stronghold? If it's not the God who raised the Lord Jesus Christ from the dead, then I'll tell you plainly that you don't have a very good anchor or stronghold. Search your own heart and seek the Lord.
So, today I felt like a freshman. Yet, even though I felt like a freshman, it was still different than when I actually was a freshman. When I was a freshman, I would have had pity on myself and probably would have cried myself to sleep if I had had to deal with what I dealt with today. But one of the many good things about God is that He is full of rich grace, and He has taught me over the past couple of years to seek Him when trials come and to see things from His perspective (as best as I can being a human).
Today I felt like a freshman, but I'm leaning on God. He's my anchor and stronghold for every day, but especially the days when I feel like a freshman.
Psalm 16:11 sums up my day today: "You will fill me with joy in your presence." (Though today I felt like a freshman, God definitely taught me a lot, and I love it when He does that.)
