Today I Felt Like a Freshman

I'm a junior this year at John Brown, yet today I felt like a freshman. (Now, in this post, I am not trying to paint a stereotypical picture of college freshmen. I'm just remembering what I was like as a freshman and basing this post off of those recollections.) As a freshman for me, there was a lot of emotions--exhilaration that classes were beginning, excitement for the awesome* cafeteria food, but also loneliness, homesickness, and confusion. Today has been one of those mixed-emotions days for me, mostly because I realized (again, as I did in my sophomore year) that things are never the same as they were before when everyone said their bittersweet goodbyes in May. You see, when you come back in the fall, there's different people on your hall. You might even have a different roommate (or, in my case, a roommate after having none for the past three semesters). The cafeteria might have a different look to it. I don't really know--I think they added some grills? None of this stuff is bad, in and of itself. New hall mates and new roommates certainly aren't bad. It's just...different. Which, again, isn't bad, in and of itself. I just know that I probably appeared to be a freshman in the cafeteria tonight, walking around with a lost look on my face.

Now, so what if I felt like a freshman today? What's the big deal, eh? Well, it's probably not a big deal for someone who is an unbeliever, but for someone who has the Spirit of God in her--and that Spirit of God uses circumstances to speak to her invaluable lessons and truths, it is a big deal.

Here's what I learned/was reminded of today:

There is nothing constant in life whatsoever, besides God. Malachi 3:6 says, "I the LORD do not change." Hebrews 13:8 reads, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Circumstances may change, people may change, but God will never change. You and I can rest in that. It was good to be reminded of that today--we need that reminder a lot, because, sooner or later, circumstances will change. You'll lose all your wealth in a bad investment. Though you go to the same school, the people you go there with will change. Your brother might die in a car accident. Then what? Who or what will you turn to? Hopefully the same One who's been there all along and through it all--God. "I the LORD do not change."

Change also reminds us that we are not in control, and it causes us to examine our hearts to see if they are fully set on the LORD or not. It causes us to evaluate where our trust is put. In ourselves, our own resources, or in God and His great power and strength?

Change will always be a part of life. It's inevitable. You might as well get used to it now. I'd like to challenge you with this question: Who/what is your anchor? Who/what is your stronghold? If it's not the God who raised the Lord Jesus Christ from the dead, then I'll tell you plainly that you don't have a very good anchor or stronghold. Search your own heart and seek the Lord.

So, today I felt like a freshman. Yet, even though I felt like a freshman, it was still different than when I actually was a freshman. When I was a freshman, I would have had pity on myself and probably would have cried myself to sleep if I had had to deal with what I dealt with today. But one of the many good things about God is that He is full of rich grace, and He has taught me over the past couple of years to seek Him when trials come and to see things from His perspective (as best as I can being a human).

Today I felt like a freshman, but I'm leaning on God. He's my anchor and stronghold for every day, but especially the days when I feel like a freshman.

Psalm 16:11 sums up my day today: "You will fill me with joy in your presence." (Though today I felt like a freshman, God definitely taught me a lot, and I love it when He does that.)

Frustration

I'm sure that almost every woman has experienced the frustration of liking a guy, but the guy doesn't seem to notice her at all. [Who knows? Maybe guys experience this too, but I wouldn't know...since I'm not a guy.] Not only this, but it may also be that the guy notices everything but her. How frustrating! Well, God gave me insight about how this might mirror humans' relationship with God. All Christians have most likely heard how God loves them and wants to have an intimate relationship with Him. He'll send things along the day to remind people of His love. Yet, they don't seem to notice. In fact, perhaps they might notice His love, but then they'll choose to reject it in the name of doing homework or, worse (and all too common), doing "ministry." All throughout the day God gives people signs of His love, but they keep on turning to oftentimes worthless things. As a woman might be frustrated that her crush does not notice her, so too, one can imagine God's frustration when He continually pours forth His love upon people, and they don't notice or they reject it. But, remember, this is God we're speaking about; the human analogy does fall short. Humans didn't create the person that they have a crush on. Humans didn't die for the person that they have romantic feelings toward. But God did. Finally, humans can't love the way that God loves. Zephaniah 3:17 says, "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." How amazing! The Lord is calling out to you today. Will you notice and answer to the call of intimate fellowship, or will you leave God pleading, "I just want you to notice me"? Don't leave God frustrated.

I am the Worst Sinner

Take a moment to think of the worst person/sinner you know. Some of you might have answered Adolf Hitler, considering the horrendous number of Jews that he had killed. Some of you might have said Obama, considering his recent address to Planned Parenthood. Some of you, with the Boston Marathon incident still in mind, might have said those "terrorists" who bombed Boston. Still others might have named some other well-known or not well-known person from history who did something extremely horrible. Well, I have news for you. These persons are not the worst sinners...I am. Yes, that's right. I am. Yes, Leah Rebekah Jarvie--sweet; gentle, a good student; a person who wears white T-shirts underneath her regular T-shirt for the day, so that her brothers in Christ might not stumble from seeing the color of her bra strap (ridiculous, I know)--is the worst sinner. You see, beneath all of that exterior, there's manipulation, infatuation, and, worst of all, loving other things/people more than she loves God; and she's still yet to see all of the horrendous deeds that she's capable of. Ephesians 5:19-21 is scary, for it is written to believers and it lists everything (though perhaps not exclusively) that I am capable of: "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like."

Though, I've already admitted to being the worst sinner, I would still like to argue that I am not alone in being the worst sinner. In fact, every human being on this earth is the worst sinner along with me. (I know that grammatically and logically that that doesn't work, but hang in there.) Yes, you are the worst sinner, as well as me; and I think that it's healthy, as Christians, to have this mindset. You see, I don't really think it's possible to "honor one another above [oneself]" (Romans 12:10) if one does not view oneself as the worst sinner. If some other person has that title, how can one honor that person above herself or himself? An attitude of humility is necessary when relating to other brothers and sisters in Christ, and part of this humility, I would argue, is considering oneself the worst sinner. Even Paul said that he was the worst of sinners (see 1 Timothy 1:15).

But, I do believe that there is a huge difference between me and Hitler, even if both of us are the worst of sinners. There is a huge difference between me and Obama, even if both of us are the worst of sinners. The difference is Christ. The good news for us worst of sinners who are Christians is that God loved us so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross, so that we might have an intimate relationship with Him again. The difference between me and Hitler is that I've responded positively to that message (by the grace of God), and Hitler did not. So yes, I may be the worst of sinners and you may be the worst of sinners, but, if you've responded (by the Holy Spirit's prompting) positively to the message of God's love, there is a difference between you and Hitler, though both of you may be the worst of sinners.

Week in Review: January 7-13

What a busy week it has been! I flew back to Arkansas on Monday. It was my first time having to catch a connecting flight by myself, but everything went as smooth as possible. I'm glad to be back at JBU. It's always nice to get into a routine again. I'm taking 18 hours this semester, so I'll be quite occupied with classes, and I think that, by the looks of it, this will be my most challenging semester academically. I'm up for the challenge though. I can't wait to see what God is going to teach me and how He's going to work in my life and transform me more into His image this semester!

Towards the beginning of this week, I was plagued with all kinds of worry. I worried about basically every single thing that there is to worry about. Would my books get here on time? If they didn't, would I be able to find someone to borrow them from? Is there a certain amount of money that I should be saving each year? What's sort of funny and like a slap in the face is that just last week part of a sermon was about not worrying, and I thought to myself at the time, "I'm not the sort of person who worries. I have peace about things in life." Wow. Don't ever think that you're immune of a particular sin or habit, because then you'll be proved wrong the next week.

Since I was saved when I was a fairly young child, there was not really a big change in my life, or, at least, not that I can remember. I wasn't some alcoholic who never tasted alcohol again after being saved. I wasn't a drug addict. No, I was a child, still possessing innocence, but still filled with the sinful nature. Even so, I can still measure God's grace in my life to a certain extent, even though His grace to me is immeasurable. I look around and see those who don't have a relationship with God. I could have been a rebellious teenager and have a child out-of-wedlock. I could have become an alcoholic or a drug addict. I could have had extreme anger issues and perhaps murdered someone. But, by God's grace, none of those things have happened to me. I am so thankful that God found me and chose me. Of course, due to the sinful nature inside of me, I am still largely capable of doing any of the aforementioned deeds. Hopefully, though, by God's grace, I can continue on the path that I am on-- following Jesus.

Words I learned this week: lintel, paragon, conflate, colophon, heuristic, exigent, aberrant, irrefragable, concatenate, desiderata, opprobrium.

I leave you with an admonishment from Galatians 6:7-9, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

I hope that you'll choose with me this week to sow to please the Spirit. I'll fail, you'll probably fail, but thankfully God's love never fails.

Leah