This year has been the toughest of the 19 years of my life, although this semester has been a bit better than last semester. I feel more equipped to deal with the trials that have come my way and that will continue to come my way. Jesus promised in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble." (However, He also went on to say "But take heart! I have overcome the world.") So trials are going to continue to come my way and every other Christian's way. Earlier this week, I was reflecting on these truths and was just filled with gratefulness at the way that God has equipped me to deal with the trials coming my way. Last semester was one of confusion; this semester I am prepared to fight--fight against Satan and his demons, that is. I am in this fight and in this world for the long haul, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how many lies Satan tries to place in my head. With that said, I was also thinking that I still lack one thing: joy.
There are some days where I'm just so immersed in thought that I'm wondering if I'm really letting God's light shine through me. I greatly dislike it whenever I see Christians walking around with frowns on their faces or when they seem depressed a lot. I hope that I have not been one of those people, even during my times of trial. Yet, I still feel as though I could be more joyful during my trials.
I always used to pride myself on how I was a "happy Christian" whenever the pastor would speak about rejoicing in the Lord. The truth is, I think I've had it wrong all this time. Today, I read the post "When Life Hurts" at desiringgod.org (http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/when-life-hurts), and I thought that it spoke directly to what I've been thinking about this week in regards to joy.
Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Until this morning, I thought that I had previously done a good job of following this verse. I just thought that I wasn't doing the best job of it when all of the trials hit. However, as I reflect back on things and the way that God has made me, I don't know if I've ever rejoiced in the Lord. Those who know me, however, can certainly attest to my optimism and joy in the small things: "Guys, they have no-bake cookies!" or "The snow is so beautiful; I just want to go outside and twirl around in it." Yet, this is just the way that God has created me, and, for encountering most of life's trials so far, it has worked.
What happens though, when life gets really tough? Like when people undergo trials equivalent to those through which Paul went, as he described in 2 Corinthians 11:23-27: "I have...been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked." I think it is during times like these that people realize that nothing besides the joy of the Lord will get them through to the other side of the trial. And that is what I have had to learn and still am learning. My optimism and cheerful personality won't get me through. My delight in the small things won't get me through. Rejoicing in the Lord will get me through.
It is at this point where I need to acknowledge God's sovereignty. For my Seminar in Theological Studies class, I have been reading Barth, and he really seems to stress this idea. It is God who reveals things. I know all about the joy of the Lord; I've been told what it means intellectually. I've heard all kinds of sermons on it. The blog post that I posted a link to above talks about setting one's mind on the hope that is found in Jesus' resurrection. Yet, in the most important sense, I still don't know what it means. I don't know what it means for me. I have not yet experienced it, and I think it is really going to take some "lightbulb" moment when I'm reading Scripture or talking with a friend or doing something else that it finally hits, and I finally understood what "rejoicing in the Lord" is really all about.
Blessings on your own pilgrimage to the heavenly kingdom! Come, Lord Jesus!
