Early this week (November 12-18), I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed with everything that needed to be done. Thankfully, God reminded me through His Word that it is when everything is out of whack and when there's just so much to do, that the place that I need to be is in His presence!
I never ever thought that I would say this, but I think God is slowly but surely transforming me into a people-person. He is showing me just how much He cares about other people and how much He wants me to care for them as well. I've always tended to prefer to spend time by myself, rather than with other people. I have always felt that I needed to have something to say in order to talk with people, otherwise it might be awkward. However, God is teaching me that it's not so much as the stories or advice that I might share, but the questions that I ask that are important. Questions keep a conversation going. The thing too is that if one walks by the Spirit, then the Spirit will tell someone what to say, what questions to ask. I'm not sure if I have seen this played out in my own life yet, and I'm not even really sure if/how I would know if it did happen. I guess it's something that God will have to keep training me in. (By the way, it's not as if I didn't love people before-- I tended to love those who seemed to be left out or people who were somehow different. Now, God is showing me how to love everyone that I come into contact with.)
Overall, I had a good Thanksgiving and a good break from school. Yet, I also struggled with giving into the fleshly desires of sleeping in (beyond what I should have) and watching movies excessively and eating junk food excessively.Those things, by themselves, are not bad, but when they drown out the Spirit's voice and what He is telling me to do, then it becomes sin. Rest does not necessarily equal giving into the fleshly desires that have been controlled up until that point. Rest is much more than that, and I neglected that this week. So even though I feel rested, I did not really rest as I should have. (Hopefully that makes sense; sorry if it's confusing.)
Towards the beginning of the semester, I prayed that God might show me if I really need other humans or if I could just be fine all by myself with God. Almost immediately, God answered by giving me loneliness. This week, God continued to answer that prayer by showing me how boring it can be without other people around. If it was just me and God on this earth, then there would be no one to love, besides God that is. Yes, humans definitely need other humans. I need other people-- not only so that they can teach me and show me my wrongs, but also just so that I can keep sane.
Today, I was challenged at church when two men gave their testimonies of how after they were saved, they didn't miss a day of reading their Bibles. That really challenged me because there's the occasional day during the month when I will give in to the fleshly desire to sleep in rather than go spend time with God. Lately, I noticed that that was happening more frequently in my life-- more like once or twice a week. I've also noticed that I've just been spiritually apathetic lately. (Now, in terms of psychology, I don't know which one is the cause of the other. I've just noticed that there is a correlation.) So please pray that God might light the fire in my soul again. Along with that, pray that I might diligently do the work that God has for me these last 19 days before I go home. Thanks!
Words I learned: armamentarium, reprobate, machinate
"It appears that the best way to get more of what you need is to give away the little you think you have left-- at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Yes, the best way to be surprisingly satisfied is to be irrationally released to respond to God's promptings to serve, even when doing so seems impossible because of your perceived lack."
"Past failure doesn't have to mean future failure."
Have a blessed week!
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