Women: Be Ye the Pursued, Not the Pursuer

If there is one lesson that I have learned (and I have learned a lot, such as that hair dryers are not clothes dryers), it is that women are supposed to be pursued when it comes to "love" relationships between males and females. (I'm not sure if that is the best terminology to use, so if you can think of something better, then please suggest something.) As is the case with many lessons in life, experience always seems to be a good teacher. I can recount four instances (perhaps there is more that I cannot remember) where I have the been the pursuer, rather than the pursued. Two instances were with males older than me; the other two were with men younger than me. No matter the case, there has always been a bit of hurt afterwards. Fortunately for me though, each male that I have pursued has gently told me that he does not reciprocate my interest (more like infatuation) in him. The Lord has been gracious to me in that way. He has been so gracious! It overwhelms me to think about. For the longest time, I had always known that the woman was supposed to be pursued by the man, but I never knew why; I always just thought that it was just some sort of societal rule. However, after the third instance, I learned that the rule has its roots in the Bible. Ephesians 5:23 says that the husband is "the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." I guess that I had known that verse before, but I had never realized its implications in terms of dating. A wise person told me that the man had to take leadership early on in the relationship, or he might have difficulty taking on headship later. I found that this made sense. Even so, yet again I became the pursuer, and that did not end well (for me, at least). You see, it never does end well when the woman is the pursuer. Rather, she is to be the pursued. I'd like to just add a few other related tips that I have learned over the years: 1. Don't say it online if you wouldn't say it in person. 2. Don't use male friends as confidants. It creates a false sense of intimacy because, as women, we feel close when we connect emotionally. Males are completely different (in general), and they feel close based on physical touch. Be discreet about what you share. Always be asking yourself, "Is it really necessary for me to be telling this to him? Is there someone better with whom I could share it?" If you must tell someone, first of all, be sure that you've told God already, and then tell a trusted female friend. 3. Watch your curiosity. With every crush that you have, there comes a myriad of questions, "Does he like me? Does he like me as a friend, or might he have feelings for me that surpass friendship?" It is natural for you to want to learn everything you can about him, but, many times, it is better to let information come out naturally, rather than you stalking his facebook page, and then freaking him out with how much you know about him. Always ask yourself, "Do I really need to know about this right now?" Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, the answer is "no." I hope that this information will be helpful to young women and that they will be pursued when it comes to relationships, rather than the pursuer, just as I am currently patiently waiting to be pursued, just as my heavenly Father pursues me with love. If you have any other tips when it comes to relationships, feel free to share!