I know that it has been forever since I posted on here, but
I wanted to share with everyone something that I witnessed so powerfully in my
own life over the course of the past year. For a good portion of 2017, I
struggled with a sin struggle, a stronghold in my life. A few months ago, God
orchestrated circumstances so that I might be set free from that stronghold. In
the months prior to being set free from the stronghold, I struggled a lot with various
emotional issues. The tiniest thing would set me off, and the other person
would not even be trying to offend me. I didn’t even realize how bad that it
was until now—when I don’t experience what I used to experience when I
encounter similar situations today. I have heard that the people closest to me
(and thus the victims of my awful emotional outbursts) felt like they were
walking on eggshells when they were around me. They tried to cater to me and
not offend me, but I really was emotionally unstable, not so much in a high/low
way, but more in a way that no one knew how I might react to situations. Even I
didn’t know how I was going to react to situations until I would just start
yelling or crying. It was frustrating to me that I acted like this, yet it felt
that I had no control over it. I got so upset at myself whenever I had an emotional
outburst, because I just knew that it was driving away the people whom I loved
and was destroying the relationships that I had with people. I would vow that
the next time I would react differently, but I would still always have another
emotional outburst.
When God
finally forced me to give up my stronghold, it took me awhile to finally adjust
to the new “normal.” When I finally accepted the new normal and began to
embrace the changes that God had made in my life and as I let the Holy Spirit
control my life again, I began to be emotionally stable again. Things that used
to set me off, no longer did. It would amaze me to walk away from a
conversation or situation and think, “Wow, I used to react to something like
that by crying. And now, I’m not affected by it the same way.” It has now been
8 weeks since I first started to feel mentally stable again. And I am really
just hoping and praying that it was due to the stronghold in my life, due to
having bad “spiritual health” that I was having bad mental health. And I am
hoping and praying that I may always follow the Lord Jesus and not allow another
stronghold to be built in my life. And I am hoping and praying that this is a
permanent mental stableness, that this isn’t something that is just going to
last for a little bit of time. (I do have maybe 1-2 days a month where I don’t
feel “myself.” However, I can often pinpoint more natural causes to these
off-days, such as God’s design of the female body and also lack of sleep, to
name a couple.) I feel like my house is “swept clean and put in order,” as it says
in Luke 11:25. However, I do not want Luke 11:26 to apply to me, which says, “Then
[the spirit] goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and
they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than
the first.”
So, if you
can learn anything from my experience, do not allow a stronghold into your life
in the first place. If you are experiencing mental health issues and it is
something that is rather new in your life, consider the possibility that it might be connected to a spiritual stronghold.
It is not always the case, but sometimes mental health is connected with
spiritual health. It also never hurts to examine oneself for any sin or sin
patterns in one’s life.